In a stunning display of pretentious mixology, the trio of self-proclaimed cocktail wizards – Kurt Schlechter, Siavash Marshall, and James Phillips – have united their powers to grace the world with an otherworldly concoction experience at the ostentatiously named Cause & Effect bar, conveniently located on the hipster haven of Park Road, a stone’s throw from Kloof Street in Cape Town. But be prepared to bid adieu to your humble brandy-and-coke because that peasant libation doesn’t make the cut here.
Their grand mission? To astound and amuse with drinks sporting flavors that defy the laws of nature, like seaweed, sea cucumber, Cape fynbos, and, of course, award-winning local brandy. They’ve gone to the trouble of foraging ingredients that you’ve never heard of and morphing them into house-made botanical tinctures for their enigmatic elixirs. Because why make it easy when you can make it perplexing?
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Amidst this convoluted cocktail circus, there are also supposed classics like the Sidecar (from 1918, because who drinks anything newer, right?) and the Legion (from 1927, practically yesterday in cocktail terms). But the pièce de résistance, their magnum opus, is The Table Bay. It’s an artisanal masterpiece, composed of Caperitif, brandy, Wilderer Obstler apple-and-pear schnapps, and Van der Hum liqueur. And in case you thought drinks were meant for sipping, they’ve slapped on a handmade origami boat and mielie spouts for an immersive experience. Because if it’s not Instagrammable, is it even worth it?
But why stop at eccentric cocktails? The Boerie Roll is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser, featuring braai-boerewors brandy, wild-dagga tomato bitters (because, who can forget wild-dagga tomato bitters?), onion sugar, and coriander bread. If you’re in the mood for playful nostalgia, consider Nelly the Elephant, an ode to your childhood served in a ceramic elephant. This delightful concoction blends orange-husk marmalade, Step 5 Gin, pineapple, and is garnished with pink rosemary candy floss – because we all know that rosemary belongs in a child’s storybook and your cocktail glass. For those less inclined to embark on an exotic flavor expedition, there’s a lavish menu of 40 local brandies, meticulously sorted by the region they hail from. Fear not, brandy connoisseurs, they’ve got you covered. And if, by some miraculous twist of fate, you’re not in the mood for a mystifying elixir, there’s a selection of local wines and craft beers to rescue your taste buds from the depths of confusion.
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Oh, and they’ve graciously replaced The Pasta Factory with this cocktail circus, right in the company of your beloved Thali, Rick’s Café Américain, and Jerry’s Burger Bar. But don’t worry; they’ve thrown in some snacks too. These “snacks” are essentially boards to share, paired with cocktails and aperitifs, alongside hearty mains such as a pulled beef burger or brandy mushroom pasta. Just in case you came for dinner but found yourself lost in the labyrinth of exotic cocktails.
To round off this bewildering experience, there are sweet treats like the deep-fried brandy shot with custard and the pièce de résistance – a liquid nitrogen vodka nougat sorbet. Because what’s a cocktail bar without a dramatic, science-inspired ending?